The Truth Within the Madness
by The.Squint
Summary: 'Alright this is going to sound really weird, but in the future I might do something really bad to you and I hope you'll forgive me' - How could he have known that it would come to this, when things had been so simple back then? Slight reference to 2X02 - Set shortly after 2X18


**I was recently watching old episodes of New Girl and upon watching 2X02 'Katie' I came across a previously forgotten little gem of a scene between our two favourite roommates which in turn provided the inspiration for this fic**

**I really hope that you enjoy this **

**More to come …**

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'_Alright this is going to sound really weird, but in the future I might do something really bad to you and I hope you'll forgive me'_

He felt her hands slide in amongst his hair, pulling him closer to her as they feel clumsily into his bedroom and heavily onto the bed.

She was on top of him, her scent unknown to him, surrounding him.

Her hair fell like silk onto his face.

Her hands skilfully unbuttoning his shirt as her lips never left his.

She was here with him, in his room, on his bed and so he couldn't understand why in the world his mind resurrected such an old memory; a small, somewhat insignificant conversation between him and Jess all those months ago. He could see her standing there in the kitchen with her dark hair and bright eyes looking inquisitively at him as she asked;

'_What are you going to do to me?'_

How could he have known that it would come to this, when things had been so simple back then? He could have never predicted such complication and yet here he was, in amongst it all and he was about to make it so much worse. He thought back to his response and had to stifle a laugh;

'_I don't know, but it could be bad – like me getting drunk and peeing in your closet over all your pretty dresses' _

That was the worst thing he could possibly think to do to her back then, now it was something he could only wish for. She had forgiven this hypothetical situation without hesitation, but this was real, this woman on top of him was real and he feared that this was too much and that she would not be able to forgive him with the same level of ease as she had done in that memory. She had forgiven him for a lot of things since, arguably worse things than contaminating every one of her dresses with his urine, and still they had managed to pull through with a friendship relatively intact, but to do this was something much more than he'd done before – he didn't even completely understand why he was doing it. In the grand scheme of things, this really was not worth it.

He knew that he should stop, tell the woman, who in this moment was slowly unfastening his belt, to leave, but he was weak and he was broken; the worst combination.

His heart pounded as arousal throbbed within him and yet internally he knew that he shouldn't be here.

She wasn't who he wanted, for she was across the hall.

He knew that this woman above him with her blonde hair and green eyes, beautiful though she was, would never truly amount to the beauty that prevailed from Jess every time he saw her.

He knew that he needed to stop this – without truly understanding why he felt the need to do so.

In that moment of confused clarity, it was already too late for he heard his door open and knew that the only person whom was clumsy enough to enter his room without knocking could only be her.

The shock caused the girl above him to gasp and attempt in vain to cover her naked breasts, but he shared not in her shock and looked slowly into the wide blue eyes of Jess; the hurt that lay within them evident to see.

He thought perhaps that he should say something, but then what could he say? He was not one for talking about his emotions or in any kind of awkward situation and this involved both. He was helpless. He had nothing within him that could have prepared him for such a situation and all he could do was look at her and see the pain that he had caused.

The moment seemed to last for hours, when in fact he knew that it could have been no longer than a few seconds before she slammed the door on them. He slowly lifted his head to look at the state she had found them in; discarded clothes scattered around the room with him topless and with his jeans around his ankles.

He sighed, feeling the weight of it all press upon him.

He had never wanted this, the responsibility of her feelings for he could barely understand and control his own and yet he'd had control of them from the moment he had pressed his lips against hers. That kiss had changed everything between them, for he knew that had this situation occurred prior to the kiss it would have been written off as a very embarrassing mistake and yet now he knew that it had the ability to destroy everything that they were. Whatever that was…

He had never seen her with such a look in her eyes as she had just a moment ago, he couldn't be sure but he could have sworn that she had been fighting away tears.

But why would she be crying and why did he feel so guilty, for he had done nothing wrong – they had both agreed to forget and move on from the kiss, wasn't that what he was doing? What they had both agreed and what _she_ had _tried_ to do with Jack's last week, as she flirted unmercifully with him right before his eyes, almost as if she wished to parade the fact that he simply wasn't enough of a man for her.

He realised that neither he nor the girl beside him had moved following Jess' swift departure and found that she still held a look of shock and as he stared at her he came to realise that he didn't actually know her name. He felt a sense of disgust, the whole situation was just so wrong and he wished more so in that moment than any other time in his life to awaken to find that this had all been one terrible dream.

He sat up and located her bra on the bed before passing it to her "I'm sorry, you should probably go"

"Yeah you think?" She was clearly upset, and she had every right to be and yet he could not have cared less. He didn't even walk her to the door but heard it as it slammed.

He redressed himself and tried to come up with possible reasons and excuses he could think of for he knew what came next; Jessica Day – It had been long overdue and it was time to finally faced up to distorted and twisted situation they found themselves in.

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**Thank you very much for reading and I hope that you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think, or what you hope to see happen in the next chapter which I hope to have up by next week. Thanks again! **


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